Bethany and Matt, whom I watched eat dinner, speculated that everyone would fall into two categories; the people who wanted to see me break, and the supporters who wanted to see me succeed. I thought everyone would fall into the wanting-to-see-me-break category. I was closer to right, but still wrong.
It turns out that everyone fell into the you’re-an-idiot category, and most of them tried to talk me out of the bet. Our VP of engineering tried to redefine “monkey chow” so that I could eat real food under a different name. Our health food guru, Manish, was of the opinion that “you should get out of the bet. There’s organic food, and then there’s normal food, and then there’s animal food. Animal food companies get sued all the time for leaving poison in their food.” Dusty handed a monkey chow pellet to Manish, suggesting that he smell it. “No,” argued Manish.
I had some trouble thinking straight yesterday and the day before. I didn’t know if it was from not eating enough, or from something they put in the chow. I guessed that it might have been the caffeine pill I took (no coffee allowed during the bet, remember?) So, yesterday, no caffeine pill, and the inability to think was even worse. That was the real deal-breaker. I need to be able to think.
I was getting pretty frustrated with the stuff already anyway. The taste was tolerable; it was how much of a pain it is to eat. It’s dry and crusty, and takes a long time to chew up. I tried making a monkey chow shake in the blender, but it might as well have been a sand shake; it all falls to the bottom and won’t pour out. I had to chow down on pellets for almost a half hour just to go from too-hungry to merely hungry.
So, it’s over. I gave up yesterday, before lunch – which was omakase at Kanpai, a $35 value, paid for by my manager. And tonight is the free $200 sushi at Sawa that the company is also picking up. All of these were real reasons to drop off the “diet” too, especially since the bet was only for $100.